POST SHOW RECAP

Hi, hi.

There has been so so much going on in my life lately that I felt like my next post NEEDED to be a recap of what I have been up to!

I am going to start with I COMPETED IN MY FIRST COMPETITION! I was over. the. moon. I will never forget walking off the stage and the feeling that I felt. I was ready to eat. That was for damn sure.

Rolling back just a few days, me and some friends drove up to Spokane (where my show was going to take place) a few days early to get settled in and actually make a vacation out of the whole ordeal. I felt so fortunate to have these people come and support me as I pursued something that I have been working towards for months.

We got in around 1am on Thursday morning and went straight to bed. We were so exhausted from the drive and most of us had a long day on Wednesday. From Billings to Spokane is about 7 hours and we didn’t make it out of town until late afternoon. Going from waking up at 6:30am everyday to being able to sleep in was amazing. A not-so-secret about me is that I loveeeee to sleep. It’s a problem.

ANYWAYS! Thursday evening we went to Scarywood. Ooohhahhhh. If you have never heard of Scarywood before, it is just Silverwood but the employees dress up and walk around and scare you. Turns out, I do not really like haunted houses … I like a lot of scary and gory things but being scared ‘shitless’ is not something that I am interested in partaking in.

Friday we woke up pretty early and I got in my last workout. We were staying with my friend’s aunt and so we were able to cook some food for the next day since we knew that we wouldn’t be at home all day. I wasn’t staying with them that night because I was going to get my supppper dark tan and then hit the rack and prepare for the day ahead of me. I guess the biggest thing that I was nervous about was having my dad and sister coming to my show. I know that they will support in whatever I do but I always have a thought in the back of my head that I want to make them proud. So for me, this was a big deal.

Saturday was exhilarating. People can tell you what it is going to be like backstage and what poses you need to strike onstage but no one can prepare you for the feeling that you get once you are up there in front of all those people. You feel like you accomplished something that many feel they cannot (I believe everyone can achieve anything that they set their minds to but many don’t want to). Although I didn’t place. I came off stage with the biggest smile and I was ready to eat.

 

If you don’t know me then you really don’t know the struggles that I was having about competing. About a month before I was set to walk. I was having serious doubts. I feel like people don’t understand how I felt unless they have actually been in my position. I felt too ‘fat’, my posing wasn’t ‘good enough’, I wasn’t motivated etc. The list could go on and on. I pushed through because people would tell me that I would regret it if I didn’t. I pushed through not entirely for myself but for my friends and family that had given me such kind words of encouragement. And because of them, I chose to be at the most vulnerable state that day.

We came back on Sunday and boy did life not stop. My Coach wanted me back on a reverse diet by Wednesday and at first I really wanted to follow it. But now, after two and a half weeks.. I haven’t been eating the best or working out. It is hard because you go hard hard hard for eight months and you really don’t feel like you get time off. So I took the time off that I wanted and I’ll be going back to the gym this evening. I don’t and won’t ever maintain how lean I was that Saturday and I am ok with that. But since a few of you have followed this journey, I have decided to share my progress photos with you. I don’t look ‘cute’ by any means but these are my transition photos from start(ish) to finish.

I don’t look super lean in any of these but I was also pumping 2 gallons of water into my body each day with a crapton of veggies. I was constantly bloated and doing soooo SOOOO much cardio. On show day I thought it was a MIRACLE how lean I looked and even though I could have been leaner. I was so happy with my progress.

Since next weekend was Halloween weekend. I was DTP. I haven’t been out with my friends in so long that I was ready to dress up and have a good time! I was Pooh and my friend Nat was Piglet. We had a lot of fun dancing and enjoying each others company.

 

Unfortunately, we had so much fun on Saturday that we disregarded the fact that we were having people over to carve pumpkins on Sunday. Ohhhh no. We were not in the mindset that we needed to be to be cleaning our house and decorating. Even though we all weren’t feeling ‘too hot’ we had a heck of a time carving pumpkins with all of our friends.

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Can anyone guess which one is mine?

 

 

I know that this post was long awaited but it took me awhile to decide what I wanted to write. Thank you to everyone that supported me along the way of such a long journey. I will forever hold you all close to my heart.

Knock, knock

Wellll helllloooo,

Yes, I am still alive and yes, still blogging. I did take a slight hiatus because school and my competition prep has kept me busier than usual! But, I have some fun recaps to share as to what I have been up to!

I am two weeks out from my competition in Spokane and I couldn’t be more pumped. I have struggled a lot this prep with staying motivated and on track but these past few months have been really eye opening. Once I got my suit I realized that it was all becoming real. As much as I would love to share progress photos.. I think I will save them until after I come back from my show.

 

(This is actually my favorite gif right now)

Last week, Sidney, Lindsey and I decided last minute that we wanted to go the Jimmy Eat World concert. We had soooo much fun. I think we only knew like two or three songs but we danced in the crowd and had a great time anyways. I love that we were all able to share this experience together even though we didn’t know any of the lyrics.

 

On Friday, MY BEST FRIEND GOT MARRIED. Helllll ya. Not only did she get married but I was able to be apart of the big day. It was so beautiful to watch her and her (now)husband tie-the-knot. Not to mention that her maid of honor and I cut a freaking rug on the dance floor (if you didn’t know already – I LOVE to dance).

On Sunday evening, my friends Nat, Jess and I went to the pumpkin patch. ‘Tis the season! I love Fall. I love the weather, the smells, the food. We took a hay ride up to the top of the corn maze, walked through and then picked out which pumpkins to carve. I was especially excited because we are having a ‘pumpkin carving party’ when I get back from my show on the 29th! I love to celebrate the holidays surrounded by friends and family.

Even though this post was ‘short and sweet’ I will definitely keep you guys in the loop of my last two weeks of cutting! Stay tuned!

-Christine

The Dark Side of Competing

I thought a lot about writing this post before I decided to sit down and actually write it. I feel like this is a pretty heavy topic and won’t be loaded with pictures and positivity. It is such a personal topic to me that I didn’t know if I was comfortable sharing my experience with other people and to maybe have them think differently of me.

When I tell people I am competing in a bodybuilding (NPC) competition they look at me like I’m crazy. Now, if I showed them before and after pictures, they would see how far I have come physically. And if they have a conversation with me, they would see how far I have come emotionally.

I have been on ‘prep’ since April. At first, I was beyond motivated and loved to be in the gym. When I started to see progress I was even more motivated and wanted to spend more time in the gym and wanted to push myself to eat perfect – to the point where it became obsessive. Watching your body change from week to week and seeing the progress can be an incredible feeling – until one week, you don’t see any progress.

When you start to plateau for the first time and maintain the weight right before you start cutting; it can be discouraging. When you eat one ‘bad’ food item and feel bloated for two days, it can be discouraging. When you miss one gym day and spend an extra hour in the gym the next day, IT CAN BE DISCOURAGING. No one holds your hand through this process. Of course, you have a Coach. But he isn’t here making me go to the gym daily and telling me how good my diet is going.

Even after all this time, I could look in the mirror and pick at my body. Who am I? I feel like at the beginning of this process I was comfortable in my body (never a girl that would wear tight clothing or wanting to go out in a swimsuit, but comfortable). One day I felt like I needed a change and wanted to push myself in fitness since I felt like I was already pushing myself in other aspects of my life. It seems like the closer I get to my competition date the more critical I am of myself. Somedays I am extremely sad or moody for whatever reason and don’t want to go to the gym. If I decided to not go then I kick myself until I feel even more sad. It feels like a never ending process.

When my diet isn’t perfect it makes me want to quit. It makes me want to throw away everything I have worked for this far even though I am only 10 weeks out. Some days I weigh in at 130 and other days I am down to 123. It makes me sad to think that I care about the scale so much when in reality, it isn’t the scale that is determining how my body is looking. Why after all this time and healthy eating do I still look in the mirror and see no change? These are the thoughts that run through my head.

I have never been one to be self-conscious with my body but now that I am in the best shape of my life and I am? It is incredible how being healthy and working out can make you feel that way. Shouldn’t it make you feel like you’re on top of the world? Although I love the process of becoming a better ‘me’, it is hard to talk about this topic because it makes me feel weak and upset. I shouldn’t feel this way, and yet, I still do.

These are some pretty dark words stated above and not every person will obviously feel the same way I do. I hear from people that when you get on the stage after all your hard work it makes all the months prior worth it. I am excited for that feeling and I feel like that is something that definitely drives me forward. The support from my friends and family also pushes me to be my best self. I have dinner every Sunday at my dad’s house and he always sets aside grilled chicken for me even though the rest of the family is eating something different. I have had support come out of no where at certain times and people’s kind words make it all worth it.

I just want people to know that when they say, ‘How do you do it?’ Sometimes I don’t even know. For awhile, I was working four jobs and still trying to train twice a day. It felt nearly impossible and really put me in a rut for about a week. I totally missed a few workouts and could feel my anxiety skyrocketing by the day. But, I feel like I pushed through it and feel better than ever now. I feel blessed and grateful for the life I live and the support I have.

Right now, I am in a good place in life and with school right around the corner I am excited for the structure. I know that I will make it to the end of these 10 weeks and not even remember these feelings that I am having. now. I can’t wait to accomplish something so far out of my comfort zone and to say that I DID IT! I know it is always good to challenge yourself and this is one of my biggest challenges yet. Can’t wait to dominate.

Everyday can’t be the best day. Do what you can right now, don’t hesitate.

Go Shawty, it’s your … wedding day?

Happy Sunday! Like I said in Wednesday’s post. THIS WEEK IS NUTS! I love being busy though because I feel way more focused and have to actually plan out my days instead of just ‘going with the flow’. When I do have an entire day off I just lay in bed and watch tv (bad, bad, bad); so being busy definitely keeps me on track.

On Wednesday I mentioned that I went to lunch with a friend of mine. What I didn’t mention is that she is going through a hard. Lately I’ve been feeling pretty down about a few things and getting together with her made me realize that sometimes you need to be a little more carefree. She is such a positive and strong person and it made me think that even when someone may be having a rough week, rough month, rough year, she still chooses to see the bright side of thinks and it such an amazing trait that makes me admire her so much as a person. We don’t get together often, but when we do I always leave wishing that I spent more time with her. She is a true blessing to have as a friend and I hope that I can learn from her outlooks on things and hopefully because more like that one day.

Thursday was THE BEST DAY. My friend Becca just got back from Bahrain and I was OH SO EXCITED to go visit her and her little one, Ki. I haven’t seen her in over a month and she is getting married in October and we still have so much planning to do for the Bachelorette party and such. I knew she got me a gift and I was so excited to receive it!

 

On one side my name is written in Arabic and on the the other it’s my name in English! Such a thoughtful gift and can’t wait to get to wear it. She is getting married in the Fall so all of the bridesmaids now have ‘matching’ necklaces.

THEN, it gets better. Another friend of mine just visited Oregon and went to Picathon and brought me back a gift (I know, how did I get so lucky with my friendships?!) If this ain’t me .. then I don’t know what is.

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They are seriously the cutest gift ever and I am so happy!

Thursday afternoon I was excited to get off and go to the gym because I have the best workouts in the afternoon. I got in my car and on my way I looked over at my cute new air freshener from Francesca’s and reminded myself to continue to have a positive attitude the rest of the day. It truly is the small things that help me overcome stupid little things that bother me throughout the day.

 

I was jamming out so hard at the gym.. I’m surprised no one said anything. I was lifting back and then did some cardio on the stairmill for awhile. I wanted to do HIIT but I always feel better after a half-hour running up some stairs. There are a few songs that I HAVE to listen to while I workout to get me in the right mindset lately. Here is my top 6 songs that I’ve been starting my workouts with.

 

Most of them are pretty upbeat but I love Corinne Bailey Rae’s cover of ‘The Scientist’. It literally gives me chills every time I listen to it!

After the gym I ran home to change to before I went out to my friend Lindsey’s birthday dinner! We decided to go to Alive After Five, which is just a big drinking fest with some live music hosted at a different restaurant every Thursday in the summer, (run on sentence FOR SURE ^^) and then head over to Wild Ginger for some hibachi. A few of my close friends there but I wasn’t drinking and couldn’t really eat the hibachi food so I left shortly after dinner (every party needs a pooper, right?)

 

For dinner I had a sushi roll made with raw salmon, avocado, mango, a mango Thai chili sauce and topped with Basil! It was delicious… I ate a few of Amanda’s veggies from her hibachi as well because I just couldn’t resist!

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I ended the evening with a late night cardio session (fun, right?). But came home exhausted and ready for bed.

Friday night I went to the movie Annabelle:Creation with some friends. It was terrifying. I am a big fan of scary movies and this movie was totally worth the $13 to get in. I didn’t really think that it tied in with the other Annabelle movies as well but I liked that it was constant freight. I looked over at my friends during the middle of the movie and we all had our hand over our eyes. I probably wouldn’t see it again just because I don’t see value in going to scary movies twice in theaters. Although, the new IT movie is coming out September 8th and I’m counting down the days! It looks so creepy. Stephen King’s novels are so creepy to read. I haven’t seen the old IT but I’m going to be front row in the new one!

Saturday evening I had a wedding to go to! It was so beautiful. It was at a venue that I have never been to before called Oscar’s Dreamland. When you pull in there is a bunch of run-down buildings that remind you of an old town look. On each building there is a description of how the building got there. We aren’t exactly sure if it used to be a town or what but there was a bank, barber shop, tall clock, and a gas station.

The wedding was for my friend Britt and her fiance Jeremy. Their hashtag was super cute: #gettingthejohnson (because his last name was Johnson). My friend Amanda and I had such a fun time! We danced for awhile and ate some fresh hog (a whole entire hog — FRESH — apple in mouth FRESH). Around 9pm I decided to jet on home because I had to work early on Sunday morning. Although I am a grandmother when it comes to staying out late, I always have a fun time with my friends. Here are some pictures from the wedding!

Coming to a close on this post! Sorry that I didn’t talk fitness this part of the week but I was so busy with so many other things that I wanted to discuss those instead! Next week Bachelor in Paradise starts and I am looking forward to it more than I should. School starts in three weeks and then my competition is in 10 weeks! Many fun times ahead. Until next time!

 

QUESTIONS:

What is the coolest gift that you have ever received from a friend?

What is your go-to workout song to get pumped up at the gym?